When we are born there is only knowing what you need and acting on it. Unfortunately and fortunately we learn to be discerning about our needs and wants. Other people’s thoughts and actions take hold. Other’s opinions become a way of gauging our own thoughts and actions. It helps us to be part of a larger community. Feelings have a way of making things messy and as artists we are particularly practiced at feelings and messy. How do we sort our own true inner voice from all of the influence and noise? Continually. It is not the type of thing one masters but can definitely improve on with practice. Mindfulness is the first obvious step. One needs to be aware of the constant narrative running through the mind. I remember the first time I recognized a continual negative narrative replaying itself in my mind. My personal narrative was pretty brutal and if I had not woken up to the experience of seeing it as separate from me I would be a very unhappy person today. Luckily I made this discovery as a teenager and it has given me the power to choose my own narrative many times over.
But how do we know when our own voice is the one to trust? Certainly we don’t know everything! Once I learned to quiet the narrative and recognize my own voice I became better able to hear suggestions and input from others in an objective way that also allowed me to either find merit in it for myself or reject it for myself. I have not stopped listening to others, but I have learned a new kind of discernment which is to decide whether what I am hearing aligns with my own voice.
1. Recognize the narrative that automatically runs through your mind. Is it yours and helpful or simply habitual.
2. Practice mindfulness so that you can quiet or change the narrative when necessary.
3. Listen to others in an objective and studious way before deciding if it aligns with your true self. Respectfully reject or appreciatively accept the input.
If you have difficulty trusting yourself for all the noise I hope these tips will help you practice. As an artist, one puts themselves out there for people to critique and often we are critiqued even when we have not asked to be. I believe others usually have the best of intentions but if I took criticism to heart, it would quickly paralyze my creativity. I practice checking in on how I think and feel about a situation as the voice who gets the final say.
Compromise is a whole other topic!